I look back and see tomorrow…

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Well, so tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and I’m sitting in a Hotel room in Vancouver counting the many blessings from the past year. I’m here visiting the set of Supernatural, and having an all around good time. Ironically, today is Family Day, a provincial holiday in Canada. Yet, my own family is far away from here. Amanda, our dog Pablo, and our upcoming bundle of joy! I’m going to be a FATHER soon. What an incredible and amazing chapter of my life that is about to come into being. As I think about the future that waits for my wife and I, all the moments that we’ve built upon come into mind. It’s only been a year and some months since we’ve first said our vows.

With so much happening in our lives, the fact that we are still in fact newlyweds can be overshadowed at times. That’s life, you live it day by day and you try to never lose sight of the important things… if you can manage it. You can bet that on Valentines Day I will not lose sight of just how lucky of a man I am. Last year I had planned to write an OPEN LETTER to Amanda on the night before our wedding, and post it online for the world to see. Being a bit of a private person with certain things, and because I am always writing about so many other things other than my feelings about her specifically, I wanted to put something out there in the world that would fully display exactly what she means to me.

As it turns out, I was in Austin, TX right up until the night before our wedding. I was on set as a Writer for American Crime Season 2 and I had made the choice to let the work interrupt my personal life. There’s no excuse, I had the option of backing down. I know there was more than capable people around me to take over, correction: the people around me were extremely capable where as I was still learning. So I wanted the experience, and I wanted to enjoy all the success in my professional life I had worked so hard for. Amanda flew back with me the day after the wedding; it was a magical weekend with lots of joy. We had our honeymoon in Italy during the winter hiatus and will forever carry that time together in our hearts. But you know, that open letter to Amanda still needles at the back of my head sometimes.

That open letter to my wife was something I really wish I had taken the time away from everything going on to accomplish. I wanted to just write about the woman I love, and let the world know about it. So today feels like as good a day as any. Family Day, Valentines’ Day, and two months before our son arrives. I can’t remember exactly what I was going to write, it was probably going to be long and over written anyway. So I figured maybe I should just post on here the weddings vows I said to her on our special day. I’m not the best poet, so I apologize if the language comes off as over gilded. I wrote these on a two-hour flight from Los Angeles to Austin, and tried to edit over the next week before the wedding. I even ignored Regina King for most of that flight to get the bones of it down. The prose may be sloppy, but it sums up how I felt, feel, and will always feel about my wife. So, here it is out in the world, my weddings vows. Happy Valentines Day baby… I love you:

Amanda,

The Universe, in its all-knowing wisdom, put you here with me.

From that first spark of energy between us, both of us standing there by the windows of a second floor mezzanine, I can still see that gleam in your eyes today, and my soul still dances with joy.

You have taught me something valuable. You have convinced me that I am lucky and that I am blessed. All the proof of this is standing right in front of me.

What promises can I make to the person who changed my life? What oath could I speak that explains this song inside of me?

Only God can know my happiness, my gratitude, all that it means that I will have the privilege of saying to the world that I am your husband.

You know me as a man of actions. So my vows to you are simple. I pledge to give you all of myself and never expect anything in return.

I will continue to grow, to listen, to share, to be gentle in spirit when you require kindness and to be strong of heart when you desire comfort and security. I will be your rock, your pillow, a confidant; the one who challenges you, at times a humble servant and when you need it most, a proud champion.

I will be your everything because you are my everything.

Alpha, Omega, from this point in time, in every far corner of the infinite cosmos, we are together. We are one. We will live this life, and go on to dream of many others, forever bathing in the light of our union on the Elysium Fields of eternity.

This is my vow: with all that is me, I exist to love you.

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